


Since I've Been Loving You

by cats_with_no_tails



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Has PTSD (Supernatural), Comforting Dean Winchester, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Comforts Castiel, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Soft Dean Winchester, Sub Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cats_with_no_tails/pseuds/cats_with_no_tails
Summary: “What’s on your mind, Cas?” Dean's eyes flicked from the road ahead to Castiel as he spoke.--------------------------------Castiel has become... more worrisome. He struggles with feeling weak and useless because of the help he needs. Dean and Sam are right there with him, though.WILL BE MULTIPLE CHAPTERS
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Since I've Been Loving You

“Do you think there will be bugs on TV when we get home?” Castiel asked from the back seat.

Dean smiled, but willed himself to keep his eyes on the road.

Sam turned his head and replied, “I think so, buddy - I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Thursday nights are ‘insect night’ on Animal Planet.” 

“How exciting.” Cas said - voice flat, though he had been excited to get home.

Castiel nodded off about two hours into the ride back to the bunker, and going off of the snores coming from the passenger side, Dean assumed that Sam was asleep as well. Dean’s quiet singing could be heard above Baby’s purring engine. 

“But baby, since I've been loving you, yeah..” Dean drummed the palm of his right hand against the dashboard. “I'm about to lose my worried mind, oh yeahhh.”

“Since I’ve Been Loving You?” Cas grumbled.

“Zeppelin’s sexiest song ever. Did I wake you?”

“No.” Cas said. “I’ve been listening. Are you surprised that I knew the song?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Not really, it’s on the mixtape. But it shows that you’ve been listening.”

Cas nodded, and Dean adjusted the rearview mirror to see the angel.

“What’s on your mind, Cas?” His eyes flickered from the road ahead to Castiel as he spoke.

Cas was silent, but not for long. “Do you have any hand sanitizer?”

Dean scoffed. He wanted to say something stupid, but stopped when he saw the look on the angel’s face. This was Castiel’s newest obsession. He hated sickness and everything that came with it, so he always wanted to take extra precautions against catching anything. 

“Nah.” Dean said, watching for a second as the angel’s eyebrows furrowed. “But we can wash hands as soon as we get inside - all three of us, alright?” 

“Okay, Dean.”

They sat in silence for the remainder of the ride. When they pulled into the garage, Dean forcefully nudged his brother. Sam jumped and made a face.

“We’re here.” Dean said.

“No shit.” Sam replied curtly, making a move to get out of the car as they parked.

“Wait, Sam.” Cas spoke up.

“What is it?” 

“Could you.. wash hands when you get in?”

Sam glanced at his brother before looking back at the angel.

“Sure thing, Cas.”

Dean forced a smile in Castiel’s direction. They both clumsily got out.

“Head in, I’ve got things to do out here.” Dean said. “I’ll be back to watch Animal Planet.”

“You promise, right?”

“Yep.” Dean said, turning his attention back to the cars. Cas made no move to leave, and Dean could feel the angel’s eyes boring holes into the back of his head. “What is it, Cas?”

“You have to say, ‘I promise’ in order for it to be a promise, Dean.” 

Dean sighed. “Yeah, okay. I promise I’ll be in on time.” He said. He listened to Cas’s retreating footsteps.

Castiel scurried into the TV room, clicking to the Animal Planet channel. Sam sat across the room, typing fervently on his laptop. Cas had one hour and 12 minutes until insect night began. It went by quickly, and he drummed his fingers against his thigh in anticipation as the time neared 10 o’clock. But soon, it was 10:15, and Dean wasn’t even in the bunker yet. 

Cas could feel unwanted tears stinging at his eyes, and he bit his lip in frustration. His mind threw intrusive ideas at him that suggested why Dean broke his promise. He sat with the bad thoughts for several minutes, before standing up abruptly. 

Sam looked him over. “Cas?” He spoke up, hesitating slightly. “What’s up? Bug night just started.”

Cas cleared his throat. “Dean promised he would be back in time.” 

Sam was taken aback, and it showed on his face. “I’m sure he just got caught up with polishing up the car. Want me to go grab him?”

Cas furrowed his eyebrows. “No, I’ll do it.”

Sam would have objected, but Cas had already left the room.

Cas bursted through the door and into the garage. Dean jerked himself around, and upon seeing who it was, looked incredibly guilty.

“Dean.” Cas said. It would have sounded intimidating if his voice wasn’t so tearful.

“Shit, buddy. I totally forgot, I’m so sorry.” Dean rushed to explain.

Cas tried for a split second to prepare a speech, but instead he just crumpled to the floor. As he kneeled on the ground, he thought about what he had become. 

“Oh, Cas.” Dean said sadly, moving to be at the angel’s side, falling to the floor next to him with an ‘oof’.

“You promised, Dean. You- you said that you’d watch bugs. I got worried.” Cas murmured.

“I know, sweetheart. And I know how you get scared.” Dean inhaled. “Tell me about it, Cas. Let it out.”

“I had those… bad thoughts.. about how useless I am because I can’t do anything without you.” Cas felt a tear slip down his face, and he hastily brushed it away. “I get so nervous now that I can’t feel your soul- I thought something bad might have happened.”

“It’s just fine that you need me there. That’s what I’m here for, hm?” Dean smiled at Cas, pressing a kiss to his mussy hair. “And we’re safe here, sugar. You know that. I know you know that.” 

Cas breathed in shakily. “I know that, rationally, yes. But recently it’s been a lot harder not to panic when I’m in the dark about things.” 

“I’m sorry I left you in the dark, sweetheart.” Dean said.

Cas cleared his throat and swiped at his cheeks harshly.

“Hey, none of that. We've been over this, bud.” Dean cooed. “What do I say, huh?”

“That… it’s okay to cry.” Cas said, though he felt no less weak. “And..”

“And what else?”

“Dean won’t think any different of me.” Cas finished, ending on a choked noise.

“Alright, alright. Atta boy.” Dean comforted, pulling Cas into open arms.

It hurt to watch a fearless warrior deplete down to a puddle on the floor. But Dean knew that Cas was no less strong than the angel he first met, and he could tell him that. 

“Remember when I first met you? Hm? When you walked in all bad ass, sparks flying?”

“Yes. What’s the point of remembering that? To remind me of what useless, powerless creature I’ve become since?” Cas pushed back.

“Shush.” Dean said, butting Cas’s head with his own. “Not at all. You’re just as strong, certainly just as handsome.” Dean smiled, and he could feel Castiel’s breathing starting to even. They sat in a comfortable silence.

“I love you just as much now as I did before. More, even.” Dean reminded him.

“I love you, too.” Cas said quietly.

“You think the bugs are still on?”

“...Maybe.” Cas said, and Dean could hear the smile in his voice.

“What d'you say we cuddle and watch some bugs?”

“That sounds… enjoyable.” Cas agreed.

They walked into the TV room, giggling like a teenage couple. 

“You two make up?” Sam smirked.

“Yes.” Cas said.

“Good. I thought Cas was gonna rip your head off, Dean.” Sam directed at his brother. 

Castiel’s cheeks flushed as he sat down on the couch. “It was justified.” He said.

Dean sprawled out next to his boyfriend, pulling him into his personal space. Cas laid his head on Dean’s chest, and Dean threw an arm over the angel’s back. Their legs intertwined comfortably.

“Gross.” Sam said, though he was smiling as he stared at his laptop.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I reply to all comments <3 You can find me on @softboyhannibal on Tumblr!


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